Look Into My Eyes, And Tell Me What You See
by NARUkO
Summary: Ron and Hermione are in a relationship, and everything is going fine..on the outisde. It all turns around when Malfoy and Hermione end up spending more time together than usual, and Hermoine discovers something about her inner monster. It's real. HGDM. IM
1. Dread

_Disclaimer: I own no part whatsoever of Harry Potter. That is J.K Rowling's job. I own nothing here except for the PLOT! The plot is MINE! You cannot take it from me! Mine:P Yes I'm crazy. _

_A/N: Hey! This is my first fanfic, just so you know. Although she may know not it, DracosBloodyKisses' story "If This Was a Normal Day" inspired me to write this. Thanks!_

_Here we go…the beginning of the beginning of… my story!_

Hermione lay quietly on the soft pillows of her four poster bed in the Head dorm, staring vaguely at the canopy that made up the ceiling of the bed. She sighed quietly to herself.

_Of all the unlikely people, it had to be him. _

She wondered what it was going to be like.

_It's going to be horrible. _

_I might go mad and kill him, even. _

Hermione shook her head and went over Dumbledore's speech again.

_Ok. One more time. "Welcome students" … blah blah blah … "the Forest is forbidden"… yeah yeah yeah … tuck in. _

Wait. She frowned. It wasn't that speech, it was the other one!

_Oh yeah…_

Her stomach squirmed as she remembered Dumbledore's exact words.

"…_And this year's Head Boy and Girl will be Hermione Granger and -"_

Hermione shook her head. She decided she didn't want to remember.

She wished desperately it had been Ron. What could be better? Head Boy, Head Girl, sharing their very own dorm…they could be doing anything – Hermione smirked - and no one would know.

Unless, of course, someone heard them.

Hermione basked for a while in the thoughts of what Ron and she would do if they had the large Head dorm to themselves.

The door creaked open, and Hermione's smile faded.

_Instead it has to be him. That fucking idiot. How long I've despised him, how long I've suffered from his schemes, how long I've been a victim of his (though it sounds childish) name-calling. _

Her eyes narrowed as footsteps drew near.

_I hate him. _

The door creaked open.

"What are you doing?"

Hermione swung her legs over the side of the bed, and straightened herself so she looked the questioner right in the face. She eyed his slicked back blonde hair, his pale skin, his stormy grey eyes. They seemed to want to swallow her right up, keep her trapped in their cold depths.

"Is it a problem if I take a rest, in my own bed, Malfoy?"

The slate-grey eyes hardened. The left eyebrow lifted, just barely noticeable.

"Not a problem at all…Mudblood.

I merely took the time at all to breathe your filthy air, to inform you that it is dinner."

He turned on his heel and left, not quite slamming the door, but making sure it made a respectable sound after him.

Hermione stared long and hard at the door before kicking it; it made dull thud, leaving Hermione with no satisfaction whatsoever and a pain in her toe.

_What does he care if I eat or not anyway, _she thought angrily?

She poured herself a cool glass of water from the jug at the window and drank deeply. The sun was setting outside and its beauty behind the forest struck Hermione as sudden.

She rested the glass against her cheek and gazed at the view, now not really seeing it at all.

She dreaded the following time to pass, with Malfoy and she stuck in this room. She dreaded the forced conversations, or worse, the hated silence. She dreaded that, in the end, they might even not hate each other as much. She shivered at the thought and decided that she would spend as much time as possible out of the Head's dorm.

Hermione set the glass down and slipped on a pair of shoes. She looked around her room, and decided she wasn't ever going to let Malfoy in here. The at least she could have some form of privacy.

She stepped out into their common room. Two squishy armchairs sat, facing the glowing fire. A bookcase, large enough to be a mini library, spread across two walls, and a small table with three chairs stood meekly in the corner.

_This place would almost be cosy.._

_If only it wasn't inhabited by that jerk-off as well. _

She left the common room, ready to go downstairs and seek out Harry and Ron, when she realized with a gasp that Malfoy was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs.

_A/N: Did you like it? Please review! I'd like to know if I should continue or if I should change anything or what. _


	2. Rules

_A/N: I'm bursting with ideas for this story! Hope you like this chappie. Oh, and I apologize for any grammatical or spelling mistakes that I might have overlooked. Also, I know that on the first chappie I didn't put the heading on the top of the page, but I will try and remember to do so from now on. _

**Chapter Two; Rules**

"Finally, you decide to come out!" the smug face smirked.

"What…." Hermione held a sarcastic expression, but her head was exploding with questions.

_What's going on?_

_What the hell does he want?_

_How long was he waiting, that idiot?_

_Was he WAITING for me?_

"…" she decided to go with question number two.

"…what do you want?" It came out rough.

"I have some…rules, for our dorm that I would…appreciate…if you followed." It seemed he was trying very hard to be polite, but his eyes gave it away.

Hermione's eyebrows shot up.

_HE has rules, that he expects me to FOLLOW?_

"_You_ have rules, that you expect me to _follow?"_

He nodded curtly.

"If we are to have our own individual privacy, we have to have areas where we can be on our own. Like, you are forbidden to enter my room."

_He's FORBIDDING me?_

Hermione had to presence of mind to seize the moment.

"Well, then you…you're not allowed in my room either."

Malfoy seemed slightly taken aback.

Hermione pouted.

Malfoy felt his stomach flip. He dismissed it as disgust for the girl.

"You're not the only one who can decide. In case you're a little behind, women's rights have gone up a notch since a while ago." She told him.

He resumed his smug expression.

"Fine. We'll discuss this again later."

_Um. Ok. _

"Let's go…"

_Go? Go where?_

Hermione started panicking.

_Where is he taking me!_

Malfoy indicated pointedly to the time.

_Oh. Oh right. Dinner. Ah…he wants me to follow him down? Uhh…I'm not sure if I'm ok with this. _

Hermione reluctantly stepped after Malfoy and they proceeded down to the Great Hall. Just before they entered, however, Hermione made an excuse about having to go to the bathroom. Naturally, she didn't want the whole of the school watching her and Malfoy entering the Great Hall for dinner together. Especially Ron.

"I…I need to go...wash my hands." She stammered.

"Suit yourself. See you later…"

He gave a tiny hint of a smirk.

"…Mudblood."

Hermione hurried to the girls lavatories, quite freaked out from the recent events.

_Since when does your worst enemy accompany you to dinner?_ She asked herself as she pushed open the heavy door.

_Maybe it's another one of his RULES. _

A long row of mirrors covered one side of the small room, while cubicles full of toilets took up space in another.

Hermione stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes ran over her hair, her nose, the shape of her face, and she looked into her own eyes. She tilted her head and continued glaring at her reflection, never looking away from her own pupils.

Color slowly faded away around her, and all she could was two dots, two black dots, hovering in nothingness.

Her eyelids sagged and the two melancholy specks disappeared; instead she saw rearing monster, long and thick as a tree trunk, its shining blind-white skin streaked with dark blood, its claws desperately tearing at the air, its oblong head thrown back to let out a piercing scream, and it was so terrible Hermione felt like her eardrums were being shredded, her mind was crashing together, and her heart was being ripped apart into a million, shattering pieces, glittering, shimmering, falling to the ground…

Hermione's head snapped back as her eyes flicked open, not realizing that all the torches had been blown out, and she fell backwards, grabbing onto a cubicle door behind her. Her chest was rising and falling in a rapid movement, and a tiny drop of sweat trickled down the side of her face.

She stared into the mirror, her eyes wide, shaking her head, not believing it. Tears blurred her vision and she stumbled out the bathroom, not knowing where she was going; only knowing she had to pretend it had never happened, to keep it a secret…

_No one must know…no one can know…_

Her mind raced around and around, not making sense of anything anymore, just repeating the same phrase over and over as she blundered down the dark corridor.

_A/N: I know some people might think that it's a bit early to put something so…scary (or whatever you want to call it) already in the second chapter, but well, the interesting part has to start sometime right?_

_Please review! I'd love to hear any ideas you might have!_


	3. Want and Lust

_A/N: Here's the third chapter…my ideas are flowing nonstop so I'm going to updating a lot and new chapters will be coming up all the time. But that's not a problem, right? _

**Chapter Three; Want and Lust**

Hermione kept quiet all through dinner, keeping her head down and trying extremely hard to keep tears from leaking from her eyes. She had managed to make the last ten minutes of dinner, when she had come back to earth huddled in a corner in the dungeons. She hadn't realized how long she'd been…out of her head, until she had entered the Great Hall to find very few people sitting there.

Ron and Harry had questioned her when she arrived, but were quickly immersed in a deep conversation about Parvati's boobs and Quidditch.

After dinner however, Ron walked Hermione to the Head Dorm.

They stood outside the portrait to the common room.

"Are you sure you're feeling all right? You seemed kinda distant during dinner." He asked softly, bending his head slightly to meet Hermione's eyes, hidden by a curtain of curls – her head was hanging.

She was staring at the floor, at her toes, racking her brains for an explanation to what the hell had happened.

She lifted her head.

"Huh? Oh...um I'm fine. I swear."

"Sure?"

"Positive." Hermione smiled widely. She wondered how it was even possible to feel this way and have the total opposite expression displayed on your face.

"All right." He still looked a little suspicious.

Hermione gave a very forced laugh indeed. "We've been together for almost a year now! When are you going to stop caring and getting all concerned every time I'm a little distracted?"

Ron looked steadily back at her.

"Never." He said seriously.

_Awww... he's so sweet!_

Hermione's lips met his, softly touching. They broke apart, Hermione's hand in Ron's. They kissed a second time.

Ron tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, and silently left. Hermione sighed softly, but sadly.

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Nothing had happened with them yet. Sure, dates and kisses, roses and sweet nothings with sugar on top, it was all there, except…except the real stuff. Hermione was still a virgin, and wanted desperately to lose it with Ron. She was sure he was the right person.

She'd been dropping all kinds of hints and tried to get them alone together in a room, but Ron was always either too slow to catch on or the room was never empty.

_But then again, maybe I don't want to do it with someone so dim! How many times is it I've been way too obvious? And he just looks at me funny! _She giggled to herself.

"Is there something amusing, Mudblood?"

Hermione gave a start and turned around. Malfoy was leaning against the stone wall, watching her with those magical grey eyes.

"How long were you watching me?" she asked suspiciously.

"Is it any of your business?" he inquired.

"Of course it is!" she retorted.

Silence. He continued watching her, never blinking.

He smirked.

"Well that's just too bad isn't it?"

She suddenly realized she was still standing right outside the portrait to the Head's common room. The subject of the painting (a king) had fallen asleep.

She didn't turn to open the portrait, or to even just walk away. It seemed her feet had been super glued to ground.

They stood there, not saying a word, just looking at each other. And as Hermione was pulled deeper and deeper into Malfoy's eyes, she found that she loathed him so much, so unbelievably much. Hatred boiled up inside her, rising and rising.

_How dare he? How DARE he be so rich and so smart and so…so hott? How dare he have everything he wants at a minute's notice, while I trudge along, unpopular and bullied, with a dim boyfriend and a – a MONSTER inside of me! I hate you! Fuck you! Bastard!_

Her eyes became fire, her finger's clenched, and they ached to grab him, to tear him apart, just as she had been torn apart not just a couple of hours ago. She longed to make him feel the same pain and horror just as she had.

And suddenly Malfoy stepped quickly toward her, just a single step, it didn't mean anything, of course it didn't…

But it was enough. Hermione half walked, half ran, smacked right up against Malfoy, and she kissed him; not the petty pecks she gave Ron, but violent, harsh kisses, but it wasn't just violent and harsh...lust was hidden there.

_What are you doing? It didn't mean anything! Why are you doing this? Stop it at once!_

Her mind screamed at her over and over again.

_Stop! Stop now! Immediately! Now, I say!_

But her body wouldn't listen, her hands groped over Malfoy's muscular body, behind his neck…

_You hate him! Remember! _

And it didn't help that Malfoy was kissing her back, just as violently, just as harshly, with just the same amount of want and lust hidden there.

They stumbled, tied together, toward the portrait of the sleeping king, Malfoy managed to keep her off him for long enough to gasp the password, and they collapsed into the common room. The portrait swung shut behind them, leaving no trace in the bare corridor of what was going on inside.

_A/N: Please review! Thank you snizelle for being my first reviewer! Yay. The next chapter will contain will contain sexual material, in case you couldn't guess, and just so you're warned. _


	4. Battles of the Mind and Remembering

**Chapter Four; Battles of the Mind/Remembering**

_A/N: This chapter does contain sexual content. _

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_Stop now! Think of Ron! What would he say to this? Wasn't he supposed to be the one?_

A new voice appeared. _He doesn't have to be. Weren't you saying just earlier that maybe it wasn't so?_

_No! It was a joke! I didn't mean it!_

_Maybe you did. _

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Malfoy picked Hermione up in his arms, and carried her like a baby into his own dorm. She still had her arms around him and was kissing him like mad.

He threw her onto the bed, and she lay there, panting, bracing herself for what was to come.

_Are you sure about this?_

_Who cares if I'm sure?_

In sudden desperation, Hermione got up and grabbed Malfoy by the front of his shirt, and ripped in off.

"What the --"

She pushed him backward onto the bed and sat on him, with her legs on each side of his waist, straddling him. She bent down and kissed his collarbone. Malfoy tried hard not to let any sound out of his throat suggesting pleasure.

"I've thought about my rules."

_Why is he talking? _

"Mmm?" Hermione's answer came muffled.

"I've decided you're still not allowed in my private dorm. I mean, you're a Mudblood."

"Neither are you mine."

"Fine."

"So, if I'm not allowed in your private dorm ever..what's happening now?"

There was a silence in which Malfoy scrutinized Hermione. She had stopped kissing him.

"Well.." he began slowly, equally slowly starting to unbutton Hermione's shirt.

"I suppose it would be alright if..." Hermione's shirt was almost halfway unbuttoned.

"…if you had…" Her shirt was almost undone.

"…some form of pureblood in you."

_No! _

Hermione grinned evilly and yanked off his pants.

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Hermione awoke to the bright morning sunlight shimmering through her eyelids. She kept her eyes closed and stretched.

Her arm collided with a face.

She eyes snapped open as she screamed. She scrambled up into a sitting position and stared at the sleepy but bewildered blonde face of Draco Malfoy. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her down to his level, only to clamp his hand over her mouth.

She continued screaming, the sound now muffled. When he didn't remove his hand, she bit his fingers.

Malfoy yelled and removed his hand. He felt Hermione prying the fingers of his other hand off her arm with surprisingly strong fingers. He let go of her, and she gathered up the sheets, wrapped them around her naked body, and stomped out of the room.

Hermione felt sick to her stomach. Why had she done it? Why? Truly and honestly, what the hell was she doing, sleeping with that pig-faced ASShole?

_I told you so._

She rolled her eyes and entered the bathroom.

What was she going to tell Ron?

The sheets fell around Hermione's ankles and she stepped into the shower. The warm water sprayed her back comfortingly. She turned around and leaned back her head. The traces of blood on her inner thighs washed away. Hermione closed her eyes and enjoyed the water running down her body.

Images of last night flashed by her mind's eye, like a little movie being played inside her head.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Her body was entwined with his, her heart beating so fast, so fast, there was kissing, groping, touching, groaning, whispering in her ear…_

_His lips made contact with her chest. She moaned; she couldn't help it. It felt too good. He made his way further down, and upon reaching her lower belly, she gripped the sheets, wondering if there was anything else in the world that was better than this._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione opened her eyes and made a face. She had acquired a nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach. Malfoy's face flashed by, as she grabbed the soap. She shuddered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_He continued downwards, skipping between her legs and instead kissing the area just centimeters away. He would sometimes venture close, but never really touching her there. _

_Hermione's back arched and she felt intense longing for him to hurry up._

"_Do it…!"_

"_No."_

_That single word caused such vexation she wanted to scream._

"_Do it, damn it!"_

_He didn't answer. Instead he continued his torturous ritual, while reaching up to feel her left breast._

_She moaned and squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her fists._

_When Malfoy's tongue made contact with her clit, she gasped and couldn't take it anymore; she came. _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Malfoy was lying on his bed, wondering what the hell had just happened. Wasn't she the one that had kissed him first? Wasn't she the one that had assured her that she was ready?

His eyes strayed to the window. Visions drifted across his mind, just like the cloud outside he was watching.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_He was feeling hotter and hotter, and realizing she had just come, he crawled up so his body was aligned with hers, and placed his mouth over her nipple. He started moving up and down, and upon finding his target, he entered her slowly, not wanting to hurt her._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Malfoy frowned. Why had he suddenly not wanted to hurt her? He scratched the back of his neck. Hmm. He waved it aside and went back to thinking about what had happened last night.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_He felt Hermione's fingers clutching his sweaty hair. He watched as her face screwed up in pain. But the expression cleared and was replaced by a look of extreme pleasure._

"_Put your legs around me, and hold on", he instructed. _

_She did as she was told, and the motion began. Their hips ground together as Malfoy grabbed the headboard to support himselft. _

_He felt he was so close to coming, and he gritted his teeth as he gave his final thrust and poured out into her._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Malfoy closed his eyes and remembered how she had curled up next to him and he had fallen asleep with her hair strewn across his face.

_Then why the hell had she stomped out like that?_

Malfoy didn't know.

_A/N: Thanks to my wonderful reviewers, extra thanks to my inspiration source's author, I'm glad you're reading my story! _

_Please note that there are some grammatical and spelling errors here that I did NOT make, and places where there should have been and question mark AND an exclamation mark… well, only one of them appears. Sorry. Not my fault._

_Did I have anything else to say? I think so…well, can't remember it. Oh yes please review. I love reading those things!_


	5. Once Again

_A/N: This chapter was a bit difficult, I had quite a few ideas, but by the end they all seemed stupid and I didn't have much to put. My apologies. Thanks to all my reviewers! I looove you!_

_No, you are not supposed to know the reason behind the monster thing yet. You'll find out later._

_And to the one who asked about how to upload the chapters, I couldn't find your email anywhere on your profile, so if you'd just email me first, then I could tell you. )_

_Enjoy chapter five!_

**Chapter Five; Once Again**

As Hermione made her way down to the Great Hall for breakfast, she pondered if she could do anything about…what had happened.

She shivered violently in disgust. Her insides squirmed at the mere thought of Malfoy, let alone the image of last night.

She stepped through the large doors guarding the Great Hall, and paced towards the Gryffindor table, searching for flaming red hair and messy black hair.

As she saw the top of Ron's head, her heart began to race.

_Am I supposed to keep this from him?_

All of a sudden, it felt like everyone was watching, everyone was giving her dirty looks, everyone was avoiding her; like they all knew, they all knew and hated her for it…

Someone from Ravenclaw accidentally bumped into her.

"Whoops!" she said in surprise.

"Whoops? What's that supposed to mean? Oh, I get it! It's sarcastic, right?"

The Ravenclaw girl looked utterly bewildered.

"What?"

But Hermione rambled on. Once she had started, it was like she couldn't stop.

"Yeah, "whoops", like it was an accident right, but not really? Well, for your information, it _was_ an accident! But that's not interesting, is it? So why don't you go back to your gossiping-"

"Hermione, what-"

"-friends and tell them you heard that from me, personally, that…that I seduced him! Ooh, that makes a good story, doesn't it? Maybe you'd like a tape recording what happened? You could make copies and sell it to rest of the school! And don't forget to whisper it to the first person you meet! Why don't you throw in something about how it all happened while I was wearing very sexy leather lingerie too?" She finished, glaring at her defiantly, as if really daring her to do exactly as she had said.

The Ravenclaw, whom Hermione recognized as sixth-year named Daphne, was staring at Hermione so that she wondered if she had suddenly sprouted strawberries out of her ears.

"Are – are you all right?"

Hermione had opened her mouth to answer back, when she was suddenly grabbed by the arm from behind. She whirled around.

"Hermione!" Ron's freckled face was looking concerned.

"What?" She asked irritably.

"Sorry, Daphne, I'm not sure what just happened, but I don't think its anything personal." Harry muttered, grinning at the sixth-year.

"That's…that's all right." She answered, looking quite taken aback. She sauntered away to her own table.

The trio headed to their seats, and only when Hermione had been comfortable seated across from the two boys, did Ron question her.

"Hermione, is there something wrong?"

Her eyes widened and again she felt the illusion of peer pressure from all sides. She wondered in panic if he knew – if _anyone _knew.

"No! Not at all! Why would anything be wrong?" she answered rather rapidly, her voice a good deal higher than usual.

Harry looked quite unconvinced, but Ron took a good look at Hermione, before shrugging and piling more fried egg onto his plate.

_Well! It's like he doesn't even care!_

Hermione straightened up in her chair and put on a dignified face.

_Wait, but that's a good thing in this case! That means he isn't going to ask any more questions!_

She relaxed, though still feeling quite hurt.

She asked for the jam and spread it onto her toast, as slowly as possible. She stared at the lumpy red texture.

Her mind felt like it was turning off, and her eyes seemed to have stopped working as everything around started to fade into blackness, and she lost herself and went into a kind of stupor, not knowing where she was, or even who she was.

The toast, the table, the chink of forks and knives of the few people left in the vast Hall slowly disappeared.

Once again her eyelids drooped heavily; once again she was swirling in eternal darkness, a darkness filled with strange shapes and figures, becoming clearer and clearer to form the shape of a long body dripping blood, a head raised to the sky, it's mouth open, showing razor sharp teeth -

But this time she screamed and yanked open her eyes too early, and kept them wide open, she forced her mind to start working, and she shook her head violently.

_No. _She said to herself. _No way in hell._

_I am not going through that again. Fuck you, monster, whatever you are, and for whatever reason you're doing this, I hate you. _

She threw down her knife, got out of her seat, and almost ran out of the Great Hall, completely ignorant to Harry and Ron's confused looks and raised eyebrows.

"What d'you reckons wrong with her?" Harry asked in a low voice.

"No idea, mate, but I'm pretty worried." Ron said, still staring at the door through which Hermione had just left.

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Malfoy didn't know what to think.

All he knew was that Hermione was acting very weird.

He had been watching her from the Slytherin table, and had been quite interested to see Hermione first freak out at a long haired Ravenclaw, and then go into a daze and close her eyes, only to let out a shrill scream open them again, looking very scared indeed and shake her head, sending curls everywhere. He had not been surprised to find her running out of the room.

_That seems to be something she's good at. _He thought, annoyed.

But what interested him the most was that, while she had been in her little coma, she had been displaying a very peculiar front; her eyes flickered, and by the way her chest was heaving, he had guessed her heart was beating very fast too. Her eyebrows were raised slightly, almost in a hopeful way, and her mouth indicated a frown, yet, he could have sworn she was smiling.

He wondered what it was she had been seeing or feeling.

Once again, he didn't know.

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Hermione hurtled up the stairs, knocking a few people over, including teachers.

"Watch it!"

"Hey, hey, what's the rush?"

"Granger, watch your step!"

She didn't hear any of them.

The same images of the familiar monster were flashing by her mind, she could here it screaming in the distance, she could feel her heart being pierced, even as she was running, her head was pounding, and she felt groggy, like she couldn't move fast enough. The pit of her stomach was boiling, and she spotted the door to the bathroom at the end of the hall. She realized through her internal mess that it was the same bathroom where she had seen the creature first, where she first felt the unbelievable pain, the horror which had driven her insane, for just a little while.

Hermione didn't want to go back in there, she didn't want to be anywhere near it, but she didn't have a choice; she crashed through the door to both the bathroom and the nearest cubicle, and hurled, hard. It kept coming and coming, and she gripped the sides of the toilet, her knuckles white.

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Malfoy didn't see Hermione for the rest of the day. He caught himself searching the classroom for a head of curly brown hair every time Gryffindor and Slytherin had a class together, and craning his neck over the large crowd of people in the hallways.

But Hermione seemed to have disappeared.

He hoped that Harry and Ron at least knew what was going on, or were helping her.

Then he frowned, quite surprised with himself.

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Later that evening, Harry and Ron were decided that they had to find out what the hell was going on. But they hadn't gotten a chance to talk to her all day, after the ordeal at breakfast.

They sat in the common room, in front of the fire, finishing off homework and discussing what might have happened to Hermione, the theories getting wilder and wilder.

But as Harry announced he was going to bed early, Ron told him that he'd be going up later.

"What're you going to do?" Harry inquired.

"I want to talk to Hermione."

"Well, I'll come with you then."

Ron felt his ears redden.

"I – err – I'd like to talk her…alone, if that's fine…because, well you know…"

Harry raised an eyebrow and said

"Ok, but she's still my friend you know. You don't get to have her all to yourself."

"I know! Of course!" Ron hastened to say. "It's just…I don't know, I'd just like to talk to her about this alone first, ok?" He averted his eyes, and kept them on the floor.

He heard Harry mutter something like "fine…Mr. She's-My-Girlfriend-Big-Shot" and climb the stairs.

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Ron found himself in the corridor, standing in front of the portrait of the sleepy king, and remembering he didn't know the password. He tried knocking on the painting, but the only result was that the king woke up and they got quite irritated with each other.

Malfoy opened the portrait to a shouting match that suggested that the portrait was winning, and Ron was merely getting desperate.

He caught their attention by kicking Ron in the shin.

"Will you shut up? Hermione's sleeping and you're making a ton of noise." Malfoy whispered.

"All right, all right! Since when do you care anyway?" Ron snarled back.

Malfoy didn't say anything. Maybe it was because, once again, he didn't know.

Instead he pointed to the door on the right side of the room.

"She's in there."

Ron pushed past Malfoy and entered the room quietly, making sure to close the door behind him.

He could see curly locks spread everywhere on the pillow of the four poster bed. His heart flipped, and he clutched his chest and smiled.

He tiptoed over to the slumbering body, squatted down, and brushed her hair from her face. Her cheeks were still wet with tears, as was her pillow. He kissed her nose, and leaned against the wall, turning his face so he could see her.

And he fell asleep watching her breathe.


	6. Problems and Childhood Memories

_A/N: Sorry I took so long to update! I was away and I didn't have access to a computer…I'll try and update as much as I can before I go to France for my vacation, and I move to Japan right after. When that's going on, it will be awhile before I can update again. But don't worry, it's not for another month or so. _

_I'd actually like to start a mail alarm thing so I can email everyone when I update, or if something happens or whatever. So if you want to receive an email when I update or something important comes up, just mail me at and I'll add you to the list. Sorry to steal your idea, DracosBloodyKisses. Speaking of which, that account has been deleted once again, and I'd like to put my consolations here. And now, onto the story!_

**Chapter Six; Problems and Childhood Memories**

Hermione's eyelids fluttered. Then she opened them wide as she stretched her arms high over her head and extended her legs.

_Mmmmmmm…_

Good morning all. She was in a good, rested mood.

She lay there, staring at a ray of sunlight on ceiling, thinking about her schoolwork, and what might be for breakfast.

She glanced out the window, and as she saw the warm sun spilling in against a bright blue sky, she smiled. Then she felt the dry remains of tears on her cheeks.

And her mind was clouded by the thought of what had happened yesterday.

She felt horrible and guilty, like it was all her fault somehow. She felt scared and confused, because she didn't quite know what was happening to her, and why.

But most of all she felt anger. Cold, hard anger.

_Why me? Why are you DOING this to me? What is your problem? Am I supposed to save you? Kill you? WHAT? Tell me what I'm supposed to do, damn it!_

She felt tears gathering in her eyes, but quickly wiped them away and rolled over violently.

She got the shock of her life.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Commotion and confusion. Pillows being whacked. Arms being scratched. Shins being kicked.

Mostly from Hermione.

"Hermione!"

She stopped. She recognized that voice.

_Oooooops…_

She grabbed the hand that was protruding from a tangle of the duvet she had hurled over the assumed attacker, and pulled.

A freckled, bewildered face appeared.

"What is the matter with you?" he croaked.

"Sorry! Ron, I didn't know you were here, I just got frightened! I'm so sorry!"

"That's…that's all right...I don't think anything's broken, anyway." He gave a small smile and he straightened up. "How are you doing?"

"I-I'm fine…now, anyway. After the shock's worn off." She answered, careful not to mention anything about how yesterday had left her feeling exhausted, unclean, and now angry.

"What were you doing here, anyway?" she added suspiciously, the thought striking her suddenly.

"You just ran off at dinner, after hardly eating anything! I came to check on you, and I fell asleep. I love watching you when you're in peace. You're so beautiful."

Hermione's heart fluttered weakly somewhere inside her chest.

_Well, at least he can still make me feel like that…_

She smiled and moved closer to wrap her arms around his waist. She tried to kiss him, but he moved his head back and rubbed noses with her instead. She giggled and then he let her kiss him softly.

A door closed in the common room and footsteps sounded. Another door, but this time it was Hermione's room door.

The two broke apart and a blonde smirk and a naked body wrapped in a towel peered round the door. At first glance, Malfoy seemed surprised at the sight of Ron standing there with Hermione, but the expression soon cleared.

For a split second, guilt and shame flashed through Hermione. She was at the point of removing her arms from her boyfriend when she realized exactly that.

_He's my boyfriend for Christ's sake. We have every right to be standing here like this. _

The familiar voice filled her head.

_**But you fucked him. You had sex with Malfoy**._

_Shut up! It didn't mean anything! It happened in a moment of craziness. That's all._

_THAT'S ALL. _

And with that, she looked straight into Malfoy eyes and silently dared him to say anything; anything at all about the situation.

She despised him. Everything about him. The way his hair was ruffled after vigorous towelling. The way his abs were toned and not overdone. The way his eyes seemed to watch her and see into her head. The way he had been inside her. And the way she had enjoyed it.

Malfoy's eyes glared right back, and they looked at each other in hate and contempt.

"Is something the matter?" Ron's cold voice filled the silence.

The other two jolted out of their swirling world of each other's eyes and hard feelings, and they looked away.

"Nothing." Malfoy replied maliciously. "I just came to wake Hermione up, as it is a school day, but I see you have done that efficiently enough."

He turned on his heel and left the room. The door shut with a click.

Hermione sighed.

"I'll get ready. See you at breakfast?" she asked.

Ron frowned. "Maybe not. I wanted to take a wake up flight around the stadium, before lessons. Then I might be able to keep my eyes open when McGonagall reaches the peak of her "How-Complex-And-Dangerous-It-Is-Transfiguring-Body-Parts" lecture."

"All right. See you later then," she said, ignoring the McGonagall comment.

When Ron had left, Hermione sat down on the side of her bed and buried her face in her hands.

She thought of Ron and how much she truly loved him, and how little she was in love with him. She thought of Malfoy and how much she despised him. She thought of what she had done with him. She thought of how she was going to tell Ron, _if_ she was going to tell him. She thought of how much he would hate her. She thought of the monster thing, and how wrecked it left her. She thought of what it did to her, and what it wanted with her. She thought of the nagging suspicion at the back of her head that told she was literally crazy.

_My life is falling apart._

Something Ron had said drifted into her mind.

"_You're so beautiful."_

She lifted her head from her hands and stared numbly at the floor. Her mind floated away…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She was in a pleasant muggle park. She was only five or six years old, and she was laughing as she chased after squirrels and tentatively pet passers-by's dogs. She danced and sang and her hair bounced as her small fingers picked flowers.

Sweet, familiar voices rang out.

"Hermione!"

"Hermione, sweetie! Don't you want your ice-cream?"

She raced back to her parents and sat cross legged on the picnic blanket while she happily slurped her Popsicle. Her mouth was smeared over in orange, and her tongue was died the same color. She grinned as her mother checked herself in a small mirror and grabbed it, wanting to be like her beloved Mommy. She stared at her relfection and she started to cry.

"What's the matter honey? What's happened?"

"I want to be pretty like Mommy!" Little Hermione wailed.

She was lifted up and cuddled; kissed on the forehead.

"Oh but you are! You're more than pretty, sweetie! You're so beautiful! And we love you to death."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione jolted back to earth. She wondered why that particular memory had popped into her mind. It made her feel even worse when she remembered how happy and at peace she had been that summer's day when her parents had told her how beautiful she was. She certainly didn't feel very beautiful at the moment.

And something occurred to her. Whenever Harry had a problem, when something was bothering him, and he asked for her advice, her response was always the same.

_Go to Dumbledore._

But she couldn't go to Dumbledore with petty little schoolgirl problems about boys. And didn't want to hear Dumbledore of all people tell her she was delusional and had to be sent to St. Mungo's immediately for brain surgery because she was seeing strange monsters in her head.

She dressed quickly and left the Head's dorm; thinking how long she would last keeping her crashing world to herself.

The good mood that had filled her when she woke up had long gone.

_A/N: How did you like it? Was it a bit boring? Please review and tell me! _

_I'm starting a new story, and as my second fic, it's going to be written in a very different style. I'll post it as soon as possible. I hope you like it! It's going to be another Hermione story, not too sure who the other person will be…probably Malfoy though. He's too hot to leave out! Happy Summer people!_


	7. Malfoy Can't Wait

_A/N: There is a sex scene in this chappie, so if you'd prefer not to know about Malfoy and Hermione in the sack, you can stop reading when Hermione finds her school bag. _

_I've realized (thanks to my great friend) that the mailing system I started was a not-so-good idea, since I have like seven chapters and twenty (but wonderful!) reviewers and I sounded like a prick when I was talking about how everyone just **needs **to know when I've updated. Sorry! _

**Chapter Seven; Malfoy Can't Wait**

Hermione hurried down to breakfast. Her eyes scanned the Great Hall for longish red hair and messy black hair, just like she did every time they had a meal. Then she remembered Ron wasn't here.

"Hey, Harry." She plonked down on the chair.

"Good morning!" he said cheerfully.

Morning conversation was slow, and Hermione didn't feel much like talking.

"Hermione, what's the matter with you?" Harry asked finally. "The past few days you've been really weird. Bursting out at people, running away at dinner-"

"I'm fine! Nothing's the matter!" Hermione squeaked.

"That's another thing. Whenever we ask what's the matter, you immediately gabble that everything's wonderful. And it's obviously not! When are you going to tell us?" Harry regarded her seriously.

Hermione sighed; she knew she was cornered.

"I don't know…Harry, I can't. I really can't." Hermione made to get up and leave, but Harry grabbed her arm.

"Taking the easy way out?" he said.

She wretched out of his grip, and walked away.

Harry stared after her, and he missed the old Hermione, snappy but kind, instead of this melancholy, droopy Hermione.

Shaking his head, he went back to his food. Reaching for another piece of toast, he wondered where Ron was.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meanwhile, Malfoy was in a raging mood. Argh! That idiot Ron and Hermione standing there, arms entwined together, they most probably had been kissing…

He dropped his socks and got down on his knees to get them. And something under the bed caught his eye. He picked it up, and spread it out in the air. It was the shirt Hermione had ripped off him that night.

_I wonder if Ron would feel the same way about her if he knew what was happening in my bed not too long ago._

He threw the shirt aside, pulled on his socks, not bothering to lather on the large amount of gel he normally used, and stormed out the room.

At the breakfast table, Pansy was inching closer and closer, much to the annoyance of Malfoy. He finally snapped.

"Will you stop it!" he cried out.

Pansy tried to look cute and hurt at the same time, but Malfoy just rolled his eyes and went back to wolfing down his fried eggs. He finished much too quickly and when he jumped up he felt quite woozy. Closing his eyes, he grabbed the back of his chair to steady himself. Pansy clawed at him.

"Are you alright? Do you need the hospital wing? Oh my God, Draco, talk to me!"

He opened his eyes, irritated.

"I'm _fine._ So get off me."

He stalked away and added "bitch" as an after thought.

Heading towards Great Hall's exit, he spotted dark curls whipping around the edge of the door.

On an impulse, he sped up and followed her. He started jogging when he pulled open the doors and realized he was in a T-section of hallways, and didn't know which way she had gone. He went with his gut and took right. He turned the corner and caught her entering an unused classroom. He broke into a run and grabbed her by the shoulder.

"Hermione -"

She spun around, and he realized with a sinking stomach that it wasn't Hermione at all.

"Oh…sorry," he told the surprised looking Hufflepuff.

"Yeah, that's OK," she looked at him suspiciously. Everyone knew how much Harry, Ron and Hermione hated Malfoy.

Malfoy walked away slowly. What had he wanted with Hermione, anyway? He should have known it wasn't her; her hair was lighter than that.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione dragged herself up the steps to the Head's Dormitory. She tapped the portrait lightly the wake up the sleeping king, and gave the password in a flat, dull tone.

Inside, she opened the door to her room and hunted through the mess of pillows and duvet on the floor for her bag. It wasn't there. Hermione pulled the bed clothes onto the bed and fixed it. Then she continued the hunt for her bag. She found it behind the door, all her unfinished homework and books with it.

Sighing, and knowing she was going to be in trouble with Professor Flitwick for not being able to hand in her essay on Decorative Charms (which was a shame, since she had otherwise known exactly what to write), she hitched it onto her shoulder and closed the door behind her.

She was just about the open the portrait hole, when Malfoy stepped through it. They looked at each other for what seemed like forever, without saying a word. Images of Ron and Hermione standing together flashed through Malfoy's mind. And he couldn't take it anymore.

Grabbing her in his arms, he kissed her deeply. Hermione didn't reject, she needed this; she needed to get away from everything. Her bag slipped off her shoulder and landed with a thud on the floor, but neither of them noticed. Wrapped up in themselves, Hermione placed her hands on Malfoy's sides. Malfoy broke the kiss and spun her around so that they were both facing the same way. He pulled off her shirt, unhooked her bra, and kept hold of her by binding her with his left arm.

Hermione didn't know what he was doing, but, bemused, let him carry on with it.

He now ran the fingers on his right hand over the bare skin on her lower stomach. Very lightly. Barely even touching her.

She took a slow breath, inhaling.

His fingers gradually trailed upwards, hardly noticeable. He traced swirls around her belly button, and made his fingertips dance closer to her cleavage.

Getting aroused, Hermione tried to make him grab her front, but he just pushed her hands away and held fast around her hips.

Reaching her right breast, he lightly made circles around her nipple, but never actually touched it. Hermione closed her eyes and enjoyed the tingling feeling she felt inside. He continued the circular movement around her nipple for a minute or two. He was making her sweetly suffer, making sure she knew he was boss right now. He only touched it when he knew she was ready. And even then it was soft and gentle, hardly touching at all. It created a divine itch and it was driving Hermione crazy.

Malfoy could see she was excited, so he picked her like he had done last time, and carried her. But this time, instead of going into his own room, he opened Hermione's door.

_Now, every time Ron is in here, I'll know I've done better than him. _

He laid her down on the bed Hermione had made barely ten minutes ago, and unbuckled his pants. Just watching Hermione getting aroused had excited him. Hermione watched from the bed as he pulled off his boxers. He got into the bed next to her, and kissed her on the collar bone.

Then he got down to her legs and opened them. Taking his cock in his hand, he lightly teased her clit with it. Rubbing it very gently around her entrance, he let her know that he _could _go in, but he wasn't…yet.

Hermione started moaning. She asked him nicely to put it in.

"Nope," he replied casually, continuing to tease her.

Again, she asked him to put it in, a tiny hint of a whine in her voice.

Malfoy refused. He wanted her to beg for him. But he didn't tell her this.

"_Please."_

He continued to gently rub her clit with his penis. He wasn't going to give in. She was getting more and more aroused, and it felt good to know Malfoy was in total control. After all, it was his penis.

Hermione was loving it.

"Oh God! _Please _just put it in, _please…" _she gasped.

Malfoy smirked, and he went in – BUT! He only went in about half an inch. Very, very gently. Then he slowly took it out again. He put half an inch in again. And took it out.

Hermione was going _insane. _And Jesus, did she want him!

Malfoy loved this. He was in charge.

He now put in an inch. And _slowly _took it out again. Then he put in about one and a half inches. And withdrew.

He kept on going, putting in half inches at a time, getting her more and more aroused. And he was getting aroused himself. As much as he was teasing her, he was teasing himself.

He had almost worked the full length of his dick, but he _never, ever, _went all the way, making sure he didn't ram up against her clit, but just teasing it. He went in and out as slowly as he could, with _almost _his whole cock.

He was trying so hard to stall his orgasm, and he knew she was too. Hermione gritted her teeth, but a groan escaped her throat. She clutched the sheets, and her mind was racing.

Malfoy went in a little deeper, going in and out, and Hermione's body started to quiver. More and more, and Hermione started to moan and scream, and she closed her eyes. Her back arched high, and she had an unbelievable orgasm. It rocked her whole body.

Malfoy, watching her, was starting as well. Just before he came, he remembered her didn't want to get her pregnant, and pulled out.

Hermione cried out in protest, but he came outside of her.

_Sorry Hermione. But you don't want my baby._

He collapsed next to her. That was undoubtedly the best orgasm he had ever had.

Hermione was thinking the same thing. She kissed his cheek, took his thumb in her hand, and fell asleep holding on.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ron, coming in late from his morning flight in a refreshed mood, had no idea that he cared too much about Hermione for his own good. He had no idea that he was falling in love with her. He had no idea that he was being ripped away from her at that very moment.

_A/N: I wanted to say thanks to SmearedBackInk for her great advice and that it's actually a very good idea! Sorry for any weird spellings I have missed, or my crappy grammar. _


	8. Wishful Thinking

_A/N: WHOO! I really havent updated lately..sorry everyone, its just the stress and lack in time of moving from continent to the other. Denmark and Japan are really quite far away from each other you know._

_For this new chapter, it will be quite short, but I think it would add a lot of atmosphere if you listened to "I Miss You" by Blink 182, or another sad song with longing lyrics. _

**Chapter Eight; Wishful thinking**

Hermione landed with a gentle bump. For the past twenty minutes she had been flying in a heaven full of bliss and joy and chocolate ice cream. Mm. Her favorite.

Rolling over, she stared at the slight frown of Draco, his face partly covered in his now messy blonde hair. She drank in his lovely smell, and told herself how adorable his nose was. Giving a teeny smile, her heart filled up, and she sighed a deep, long, sigh.

She climbed a little higher onto the pillows, and kissed his ear softly.

"I love you," she whispered.

_Did I just say that?_

She smiled a quiet smile to herself.

_Maybe I did. _

Malfoy's eyelids fluttered.

"…what?"

"Nothing!" she giggled, and turned her back.

Malfoy watched her for a minute, and pounced.

Hermione screamed as he tickled her until she rolled around in mirth, gasping to breathe. He loved her laugh. Her curls swung around, and happiness filled her eyes. It made him so happy to see her like this.

He stopped, and lay down beside her, staring at the ceiling. His eyes traveled down the length of the ceiling as he wondered why they couldn't be like this everyday. It saddened him to think that as soon as they walked out of here, they would be back to mortal enemies.

Hermione noticed his depression, but she really didn't feel like being all gloomy and bummed, so she wrapped her arm around him, and said softly, "Do you know what I feel like?"

"What do you feel like?"

"I feel like going down to the beach, when the sun is just setting, and the sea is sparkling different colors, and just running around with you, and swimming, and splashing water in your face, and I'll scream because I swear I felt a crab bite my toe…"

Malfoy laughed.

"…and I'll pick you up and tell you it's ok, and I'll protect you from any other lurking crabs, and I'll carry you back to shore, and I'll lie you down on the sand, and walk away slowly, whispering things to you until you start falling asleep with the waves lapping at your feet…"

"…and I'll start to get worried, and wonder where you're going…"

"…but I'll come back, I swear I will, and I'll have ice cream for both of us, and I'll have bought three scoops of your favorite flavour…"

"…chocolate…" they both murmured. Hermione wondered how he knew.

"…and I'll kiss you on the nose and ask you how you knew…"

"…and I'll kiss you right back, and tell you never mind that, but it's getting dark, and maybe we should be getting back…"

"…and I'll tell you not to be ridiculous, and we'll kiss each other…"

"…and the night will keep going…"

"…forever and ever…" they sadly whispered together.

A single tear dripped from Hermione's eyelashes as she closed them, while Malfoy tried very hard not to cry himself.


	9. We Might As Well Be Strangers

_A/N: I'm sorry to say that I was actually planning on giving this whole fanfiction thing up, and I haven't touched it in months, but I got a pleasant surprise one day when I found a comment asking me to hurry up and update, please. So this one is for you, mrsbnm-of09c._

**Chapter Nine; We Might As Well Be Strangers.**

She sat at her desk, her head to one side. Her mouth was slightly open, and her large brown eyes were swimming. Her fingers gripped her quill tightly as she swallowed and bent her head.

_Forget about it, Hermione. _

Two seats ahead of her, his grey eyes narrowed as his heart was pierced with a single thought. A thought of her. His brow furrowed, he ran his hand over his head.

_Don't think about it. _

The bell rang. She bent over to put everything in her bag. He carelessly flung his things into his bag and turned around to the leave the classroom. She stood up to swing her bag over her shoulder. Their eyes met. Her frightened eyes blinked once or twice, and widened. His stormy eyes looked deeply into hers; searching, then he frowned, and looked away. Everyone had left the classroom. Staring at the ground, he pushed past her.

She breathed deeply. They hadn't said a single word to each other since that night. God only knew where they stood.

_Good job, Hermione. It's just like you to get such into such an impossible situation, isn't it? Let the heartbreak swallow you. _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry and Ron were in Herbology, battling a particularly nasty new plant Professor Sprout had decided to introduce them to.

"Where _is_ she?" Hermione's new self was starting to scare him a lot. He wanted to protect her from whatever it was, but he only could if he knew what it was.

Harry swore as the vicious plant bit him. "No idea. But you know something?"

"What?"

"I dunno, I might be seeing things, but…" He shook his head. "Haven't noticed how Malfoy hasn't been bugging us at all lately? To me, it's almost like he cares too much about Hermione."

The idea sank into Ron's brain and he began to put the pieces together. He labeled it preposterous.

"Yeah, I know, but… seriously, this is Malfoy we're talking about."

Harry nodded. "Don't wanna worry you, man."

"It's fine. Watch out!"

The plant bit him again. Harry wanted to smash it with a Beater's club.

The fact was, it wasn't fine at all. Ron was getting very stressed, and once Harry had made the suggestion, everything seemed to point in that direction.

It was all he could think about when he went upstairs to put his bag away. Something on his night-stand caught his eye. He didn't know what it was, but he grabbed it and put it into his back pocket, and went down to dinner.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione lay on her bed, staring at the canopy sagging above her. She remember how she had lain here the same way a while ago, thinking how horrible it was going to be, living with Malfoy. She had had no idea, had she?

_I don't even know him. _She realized.

_You don't even know yourself! If you did, you wouldn't have let you do this to yourself. _

She got up and buried her feet in her fluffy slippers. She padded out of the dorm and found her way to the portrait of the fat lady.

"zinzibar" she told her.

"Hello, dearie. Why the long face?" the fat lady inquired, not really expecting an answer.

Hermione's expression remained gloomy, and she climbed through the portrait hole.

"Hermione!" a familiar freckled face grinned at her happily, and to a guilty relief, it wasn't Ron's.

"Ginny. I need you." They hugged.

"Of course. Let's go upstairs." Once they were both comfortably seated on Ginny's bed, she took a good at Hermione.

"Oh my God," She couldn't help but say it. Hermione look terrible. Her hair was filthy and straggly, framing a haunted face. Her cheeks her hallowed, her mouth thin and un-smiling, and her eyes were empty of everything good. They were filled with despair and hurt.

Hermione sniffed – and let go. She sobbed and screamed and cried and babbled incomprehensible half-sentences, and Ginny, being Ginny, held her and told her it was going to be okay.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Well, you're an excellent boyfriend, aren't you?" Ginny exploded at her brother. This was not the welcoming greeting he was expecting as he entered Gryffindor common room. He was already annoyed about the rising suspicions concerning a certain prick-face named Malfoy, he did not need a fight with his sister.

"What in the hell are you on about?" Ron asked, tired.

"Nothing. I'm not supposed to tell you anyway, but I'd start paying more attention if I were you," she hissed, and climbed the stairs up to the girls' dorm, glaring over shoulder.

Ron was beginning to feel utterly useless. He stared into the dying fire for a while, thinking about what his sister had said. He went over to sit in one of the armchairs, and something poked him as he sat down. He reached into his back pocket, and found a lined piece of muggle paper. He realized it was the item he had picked up from his night-stand before dinner. On closer examination, he found that it was one of the letters Hermione had written him over the summer. He kept all of them. He remembered that this one had been specially different from the rest. He unfolded it.

_Hi, my darling Ron,_

_How are you? Guam is wonderful, it's scorching hot but it's a real tiki island. The water is beautiful and I was just out scuba-diving this morning. This afternoon I'm going parasailing. There's such a great atmosphere here, all the people are so friendly. I love it here, but I love you more, and that's why I look forward to going back to Hogwarts. Every song I hear reminds me of you, every man I see on the street is nothing compared my dreams of you, and every night when I fall asleep, all I see is you. My parents not accepting that I love a wizard will not come between us, that, I promise. Nothing can. No other petty boy, no parent, no law could ever ban the feelings I harbor for you. I know this is such a silly schoolgirl letter, but it's the only way I can explain the way I'm carried to heaven when I think about you. I'm crazy for you. I just felt I had to say it. _

_Love, love. Hermione. _

His heart broke.

"I love you, too." He whispered.

He didn't know Hermione had already promised love to someone else just the night before.

_A/N: Well there you go, more sad endings. I'm sure you're not interested, but I did actually go to Guam myself in February, and it was so gorgeous. I did go scuba-diving and parasailing, as well as jet-skiing. Very, very fun. So I got tanned in the middle of winter! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. _


	10. Swallow Me

**Does anyone even still remember me? Soo long. **

**Disclaimer: **ANYTHING YOU'VE SEEN BEFORE BELONGS TO THE RICH FAMOUS LADY NAMED JK ROWLING.

**Chapter Ten; Swallow Me**

Ron got up from the armchair again and walked nearer to the fire. Twirling, dancing, spitting, he could see his beautiful Hermione among the flames.

_Mine. She is mine. _

A subconscious smile crept onto his face as he thought about it. She belonged to him and nobody else, it was he she came home to at the end of the day and it was him and only him who possessed the right to stroke her and kiss her and hold her, to touch her bare skin with his own hands, to whisper things in her ear that would never leave her head, to occupy the same presence and being as her.

If only he could. He knew Hermione was getting impatient with him and it made him feel hopelessly lost but what made it worse was that he wanted it too. The lingering fantasy of their bodies entwined in a sweet dream never left his mind, but as soon as he got within a circumference of ten feet he suddenly became the clumsy, dorky klutz that he so desperately hated.

He thought of the other day in class when he had raised his hand to answer a question when he noticed Hermione turning around to smile at him encouragingly. He lost all presence of mind and stuttered out the wrong answer in incomprehensible English, at the same moment his voice cracked, and then he dropped his wand which caused his chair to vanish and he fell with a bump on his ass. Her adoring smile had quickly vanished and she turned around.

His fists tightened as he stared deeper in the sultry fire. If only he could show her there was no need to be embarrassed of her. If only he could show her he was just as good as Harry, or even…

He tossed the slimy thought aside. Why was he even thinking of that Slytherin bastard? Not only he was even remotely cool, what Harry had said in Herbology about something strange going on between Hermoine and him was only total bullshit. Hermione would never do that to him.

_A huge green something rose out of the fire, scaly body glistening, massive wings beating powerfully, and an open mouth full of shiny teeth. It came to rest in front of him, glaring at him, a bright emerald dragon, waiting to swallow and possess. This was indeed a well-known monster, encountered and destroyed by many, this demolishing lurking beast – jealousy. _

'' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' ''

It was with a heavy heart that Hermione made her way to the library. Her mind was weighed down with so many things she could not begin to explain, her heart heavy with bitter doubt. If her actions mirrored her emotions she would hiding in a ditch somewhere, screaming for the world to hear and pounding the ground, making marks in the dirt. She would be thrashing about in pain, sobbing until she shriveled up, dead in despair. But she could not, for she had been neglecting her school work for too long, and besides, she was too exhausted to do anything much these days.

She shuffled through the double doors and stopped to look around. So many familiar things met her eyes, the desks, the shelves, the books she knew so well, even the bitchy librarian. This was her sanctuary, this was where she belonged. It was in her work she knew herself best and she could not for the life of her understand why she hadn't been back here in weeks. Interested and preoccupied for the moment, she lost herself in the shelves and reemerged with a tottering pile in her arms. Getting comfortable in her favorite spot by the window, she was quickly sucked into her reading, forgetting all her troubles.

But not for long.

Hermione seemed to be magnetically charged to unhappiness for the past month and this was no exception. It wasn't twenty minutes before loneliness took her over she started wondering what everyone else was doing. She checked out her books and decided to go outside. She spotted the stands upon opening the door of the Great Hall, and decided to find out if anyone was taking a practice flight.

But something was wrong with the scene that met her eyes. Just two figures stood on the grass, each holding a broomstick, facing each other and shouting at the top of their lungs. Making her way over, exactly what they were saying became clear to Hermione.

"You have no god damn right to say anything about her, and if you repeat your filthy insult one more time I will fucking smash your face in!" Ron raged.

"Aren't I so scared? To be beaten up by a Weasel, now that's a real nightmare! I can say what the fuck I want, even if it's about your Mudblood hoe!" Malfoy's fists were clenched and his eyes narrowed to the brink of closing.

"FUCK YOU!" Ron pounced on Malfoy and they bowled over on the soft grass, tumbling in a jumble of arms and legs.

"STOP! PLEASE, BOTH OF YOU STOP FIGHTING!" she shrieked. The two, shocked at realizing they were not alone, broke up quickly and stood up with haste.

"Hermione, what are you doing here? You're never on the field," Ron said, acting as if nothing had happened.

Before she could answer, Malfoy suddenly gave a soft, malicious laugh.

"_What?_" Ron turned violently and glared forcefully at the one he hated most in the world.

"I'll fly you."

"Where?"

"No, you idiot. A competition. If you make it around the stadium six times before I do, I will never say another word about Granger again. If I win, I don't have to take back what I said and I get the bonus of owning Kinky-Little-Schoolgirl here for one night."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Ron was pissed off and this close to hitting him again.

"What, scared your going to lose? Oh wait, I forgot, this is Weasel King I'm talking to."

Hermione stared with an open mouth at both of them, unable to believe what she was hearing. She felt like an object, a standing dummy with no feelings or opinions, one to be used and broken. Had they totally forgotten she was standing right there?

"Malfoy, you are out of your mind." Ron gaped.

Hermione fumed, took a step forward and slapped Malfoy across the face as hard as she could.

"Yeah, he's right Malfoy, you are out of your mind" Hermoine snapped, "but so are you Ron."

She turned around and slapped Ron hard enough to leave a red hand mark.

"You're both bastards, and neither one of you will 'own' me no matter how many times you fly around this god damn court! The nerve of you, to speak about like that, what's worse, with me not one foot away! I fucking hate you both!"

Turning on her heel, she fled, wiping the tears from her cheeks and leaving both Ron and Malfoy with their hands on their faces, and jaws on the floor.

'' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' ''

After about two minutes of total silence, Ron turned slowly to face Malfoy. Malfoy had removed the hand from his cheek, and was regarding Ron with eyes full of contempt, hate, and something that Ron thought was regret. And yet, his expression remained that hated calm.

"So are you in?" he drawled.

Ron slowly shook his head. "Have you totally lost it? Did you not just hear what she said?"

"I don't care, Weasel. I know I can win over you any time I want and I'm going to prove it. Are you in, or not?"

_Ron stared steadily back at Malfoy, but he was not seeing the cold, steel eyes. He was looking at something quite different. He was having a wordless argument with the emerald green dragon. It opened its mouth. _

"Let's do this."

A hard, frosty grin spread itself over Malfoy's face. His winter eyes glinted.

And they mounted, counted, and took off.

'' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' '' ''

The door opened.

Hurried footsteps. He grabbed her roughly, hugged her so she choked. He turned his face to hers, and he kissed her with violence. His hands groped her waist, his eyes a messy silver storm. He pulled her closer, he whispered harshly in her ear, "One more time. I need you, just one more time."

_She lay in her bed. Tear-strewn; wounded heart, sticky eyelashes, bruised lips, body used and broken._

It was dusk, and the light outside was fading into a glittering blackness. On the horizon the sun was setting, casting eerily beautiful long shadows along the grounds. It was a stunning evening. But inside the castle lay a runny-nosed sobbing young woman, who at the moment was only just a girl.

She buried her face in her pillow and cried silently. Deep in the center of her stomach it was all knots, and her chest felt hollow and empty. She was curled up, holding onto her knees for dear life, and feeling like there was a knife in her heart. She closed her eyes and wished it all away.

The door opened.

Putting down his broomstick, he tiptoed closer and spied a head of curly cinnamon hair. He touched her cheek and found it was wet. He started to worry, but what he saw then made his heart stop. Lying next to Hermione, stiff as a board and staring straight at the wall, was Malfoy.

_The dragon opened its mouth wide, licked it's teeth, and consumed him whole, in a wave of vicious jealousy. _

"I won for you, Hermione," he whispered. "I won."


End file.
